Friday, 8 July 2011

It's the End of The (News of the) World as we know it!

Ding Dong, the witch is dead, which old witch? the terrible newspaper that blighted British society like an unwanted wart on the face of an otherwise plain but not necessarily unattractive woman! Okay, so it doesn't scan correctly, but people are singing it up and down the street here. There are people burning effigies of Rebekah Brooks (Or possibly starting a hate campaign against raggedy anne dolls, it's difficult to tell with these things) and marching across the nation. I'm going to four different street parties to celebrate. People have said "goodness, we should be mourning the death of an institution" to whom I say "Just because it was an institution doesn't make it good. Slavery was an institution." and they say "Are you honestly comparing the News of the World to slavery?!" and I say "Both are highly morally questionable but enjoyed by vast swathes of the public." and they say "...Fair point".

Of course, this isn't REALLY the end, it's just a little breather till Rupert Murdoch gets his minions together and launches "Sun on Sunday" (Expect puns galore when that starts, along the lines of "It's SUNday!" etc), ideally by shouting "FLY my pretties!" at a boardroom meeting. But still! The NotW is GONE. I feel excited. Amazing. I'd say delirious, but I don't want to go to far. I'll settle for dizzy with giddiness. Finally, Parliament and the British public tag-team to slam Murdoch. It's a shame David Cameron is so woefully ingrained in News International that he had to pull his head out of their arse to hear the shouts of anger. MPs who've previously done nothing were vitriolic in their rage. Even Ed Milliband managed to briefly be possessed by a better Labour leader in his calls for an inquiry and Ms. Brooks' resignation.

I fully expect that one day, people will go into Wapping towers, or whatever they're called, and find a beam, on the roof, with "Brooks Was Here" written on it (Shawshank reference). There's no possibility she won't go, surely. It's like being in charge of a ship that has crashed, leaked, and is currently exploding and going "I had no idea we were doing any of this.", and then hoping to get away with it. And Andy Coulson looks set to be arrested. I guess figures of authority in a Tory government can't, despite their best efforts, actually help getting arrested in an international scandal. Brilliant. I'm going to upgrade my happiness levels to shaking with delight. I just hope that now something will be done about the terrible PCC. That would be the only thing to make this day more perfect.

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